DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
