what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
