Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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