think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And then my night got REAL pukey
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
