no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
