I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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