I feel great
I just peed on a car
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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