What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
