I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
