At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
