he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Bring me that man meat
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
