3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
