Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
