I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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