Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
