We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
