Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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