i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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