you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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