Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize