remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize