Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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