First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
