the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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