i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
