So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
