I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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