just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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