He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
