All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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