Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
