I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
