So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
