I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
