Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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