it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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