But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
