I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
