One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize