Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
