I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
