I looked at my own cervix.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
