just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
