Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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