THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
