she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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