i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
