He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
