I want to walk on stilts...naked
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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