He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
