At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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