the condom got lost in my hair
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
