i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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