White coat. Heels.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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