Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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