so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
