honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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