I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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