Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
