I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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