If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wear drunk well.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
