Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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