She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
