I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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