I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
