Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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