You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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